Phae (phae_talon) wrote,
Phae
phae_talon

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Writer's Block: Change for the Better over a Decade

How are you a better person today than you were ten years ago?
Ten years ago at about this time of year, I believe that my last temporary job had just become permanent. I was working at Wal-Mart then, and I had just met WD.

I was newly witchy, and in a very soft and bunnie-like stage. The world was all pink and fluffy, everything was wonderful, and magic was actually real in the modern world. I can remember the wonder of it all. I felt like a little kid again.

Though, it wasn't all peaches and gumdrops. My mom was fighting cancer, and I had no clue what I was going to do with my life. I was just happy to finally be out of the hell of high school.

I think that was also the year that I started writing my story about Ella. She came to me in my very first attempt at a past life regression.

I also remember how quickly I picked up the skills at that time. I learned to meditate with my eyes open by focusing on objects that were on either side of me. I still wonder if I actually made my eyes roll to the outside of my head.

I learned the significance of the pendulum that my mom had made for me when I was about 12 or so. I bought my first set of tarot cards - the Sacred Circle Tarot. I still have those cards somewhere.

I also remember that year was the year that I learned about reincarnation and the theory of non-linear time on the other side. Figuring that out for the first time gave me a headache for about a week.

That was also the year that I spent a couple of months fooling around with online relationships and realizing that words on a screen are nothing when compared with a real live person by your side. That part got a bit messy, but I learned my lesson.

I am a very different person today than I was then. I am making a good living now, at a full time job that I actually enjoy doing. I have finally started school again and while I don't dream about huge changes in my life at the end of this program, I am glad that I didn't miss out on college entirely.

I have a house to live in again. And while I am still a little nervous of thinking of this place as home (I think I won't settle down until we have been here at least a year), it is by far better than anything I have had since I moved away from the house I grew up in.

Spiritually speaking, I think I have grown in leaps and bounds from the person I was in 1999. It's been a long road with a lot of different hats, but I think that I am probably where I should be - doing my own thing, and fitting my ancestors and family heritage into a 21st century life.

The less time I spend online, the more I realize that I wasn't meant to be in a lot of the moulds I have tried to cram myself into.  I was always just meant to be me.  And no one else's approval is required.

-PT

Tags: life, memeage, way back when, writer's block
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